Health is Wealth: Stability Circuit - Day 19/232 #RUN

Do you really need someone else’s permission, acceptance, wink, or nod, or are you ready to give these to yourself? I say, “Ready. Now.”
— The Universe

HRV Score: 60
Relative Balance: 8 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 9h 21m
Overall mood: Had a great night of rest. I felt.

Home: Day 19 - Breath And Body Practice

Core Power Yoga:

  1. Yoga: 60min C2 Class.

  2. Average HR: 108

Gym: Stability Circuit 3x

    2. CLAM SHELLS - 15/SIDE
    6. PRONE PLANK - 60/90/120 SECONDS

Internet Truth Or Fiction: Benefits of of home made grape juice… Maintains cholesterol levels, maintains heart health, cures digestive and bowl disorders, boosts immunity, delays aging, prevents cancer, relieves debilitating headaches, improves metabolism, maintains bone strength, instant energy booster, and removes toxins.

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.” Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.” Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.” The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won’t. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.
— David Deida

The Corner of 8th & Insanity: You woke up feeling great. The snow came hard over night. Winter is here. Kids were up and ready to go, Lu had her snow pants, gloves and hat from the year before that still fit. Bubs didn’t. Melt down. He made it abundantly clear that the rain/hunting boots he wore last year were not acceptable. This was your fault. He has a way of making you feel like a real piece of shit parent. I get it. You felt inadequate. You feel that you can do no right by him. And once again, you let him down. It was the first snow and you hadn’t been to the store to get him boots that fit. His words tear through you heart like to no other. I know what you’re feeling, but you have to remember that he is a kid. Things that seems like nothing to you can be monumental to him. It’s his age. Understanding. His emotions are running wild, he loves you. You know he does. And what he needs from you is more patience, love and understanding.

You let the day get worse from here. Well, you definitely rallied into the afternoon, thanks to your Yoga class but you let the morning crash. Do you know where you went wrong? What you could have done. You didn’t feel through it. All it would’ve taken is a good cry and it would’ve been over. You would’ve felt your way through this. Turn in and closing your heart is not the route to take, you have proven this time and time again. Again, you let that feeling inadequacy (your ego) and that self hate control the situation. You had a choice. Remember that? We already know the house is a mess. And there is too much shit. She isn’t your emotional punching bag. There was no reason that any of it should have been taken out on her. She deserves better than that, and you know it. Cleaning out the house, creating a calm clean and easily manageable environment would do you all tremendous good. BUT… you know what? After a morning of feeling like a crappy parent probably wasn’t the best time to bring that up. You know the head space you were in. Not. The. Time.

Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.

If there is one thing that today proved to you, it is how much you need yoga in your life. ha. You know how calm and relaxed you felt after that class today. The weight was gone. Your head was clear and you felt full of love again. Breathe and feel through this shit man. It ain’t worth getting this worked up. Bubs is a kid and its just shit in the house that will eventually get tossed or donated. You know the right way to go about this. You know. I know you know. So fucking do it. She loves you. And will do anything for you, so give her that in return. I know you want to. Its just a matter of breathing in and breathing out the bullshit before you let your mouth fucking run. Simple man. It’s that fucking simple.

You know when your solar plexus becomes tense and contracted. This is a sign that of an unskillful reaction to hurt and pain. You contract, you tighten up and you close up. That is what happens dude. Your inability to breathe through even some of this minor bullshit. It is partly ego and you know it. That tension is a self protective mechanism, but when it happens, you are no longer free. If you want to be the example to your kids that you want to be, you have practice and force that fucking heart of yours open even in times of hurt. They are kids, you have a whole fucking lifetime a head of this, times three! If you want to learn to master these situations, truly master them, you have to breathe through it. Sit them down, look at them, breathe through it so that you can feel the entire situation. When you do, I promise, you will have a greater understanding and you will become the warrior of light that they need from you. You have it in you, I know you do. You got this. And remember, treat her like the queen that she is. She deserves you, the best version of you. A warrior of light…Til next time amigo.

Train your mind to see something good in everything.
— Buddhist Proverb

Live Fearless. Not Reckless.