HRV Score: 54
Relative Balance: 7 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 11min
Overall morning mood: Felt like I slept pretty well and in a pretty good mood. I did feel a little rushed and stressed but felt thru it and let it go as quickly as I could
Home: Yoga - Day 16 - Eazy Breezy Beautiful Yoga
Core Power Yoga:
Yoga: 60min C1 Class.
Average HR: 106
C1 class was slower flow Vinyasa class with a warm room but not near as hot as the C2 class or Hot Yoga class. I loved it.
Run South Island, NZ: 0%
Ave HR 138
EG: 00 feet
Notes: Yoga was awesome today. I enjoyed our instructor, she was knowledgeable and I really like when they take the time to show alternative poses to certain moves. The C1 class was a bit slower flow vinyasa and the room was not quite as warm. Still broke a sweat. I went directly to the gym from Yoga as is was my cardio day and after about 30min I felt like I had trouble keeping my heart rate down. I had to hop off or walk twice to get my heart rate to drop back below 146 although I was able to keep my HR under 146 the entire run with the exception of those two spikes where is jumped up to 159. I think my mediocre HRV score, empty stomach and perhaps my music was the culprit. I think from now on, I am going to try and listen to really mellow calming music or lyric-less music on my long, aerobic runs.
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The Corner of 8th & Insanity: You had a good day, but you still woke up stressed and over thinking. It was reflected in your HRV score and your inability to go back to sleep when you woke up significantly too early. Here is the thing though.. As Maryam Hasnaa says, you gotta forgive yourself for your fuck ups. Hold yourself accountable but that is part of self love…forgiveness. You did a pretty good job at feeling it through and letting it go. That was largely due to your yoga practice with Adrienne. You felt it immediately, didn’t you? I know you did. You felt it through your neck, your shoulders, all the way down your spine.
When you start to give your ego names, you can differentiate the ego from your true-self. It is a Buddhist technique. The benefit is that it allows you to separate the idea or the feeling from yourself and with that you accept it, its place, and then consciously decide if you want to believe it is truly a good idea or not…to act on it or not. You have to realize the voice is not you. Do not attach to it. The ego will have you believe that it is you, believe me. Your ego will do its best to pound it into you. The beauty of it all, is these thought patterns or repetitive thoughts become options to you. The more you try to suppress them, the stronger they become and they are going to blow a fucking gasket at some point down the line. You have dealt with this enough. That is why you are on this path. To let this shit of the past go. You want the choice, over a reaction. Reactionary measures rarely outweigh the proactive. Shooting from the hip man, time and a place and this ain’t the time, nor the place.
Within your true self is a constant state of love. Don’t forget that. That is what they mean when they say you are God, we all are God. God is entirely with in us. You, your true self is love. You need to relinquish control. Let it fucking go. This another ego trick. There is no lack of love when living your true self. Your true self overflows with love, man. Come on! You, along with the majority of people have been fucking brainwashed into thinking that people act a certain way when they are in love. They don’t. They act in accordance with how they feel about themselves. It is not a reflection of you… And when you don’t see it, you try to control others into acting a certain way that fills these perceived holes or lack. All Control is, is an attempt to gain approval through force. Is that really what you want? How can you actually trust that? If you manipulate or force someone into doing or acting a certain way, how can you possibly fucking trust that they believe or feel what it is that they are doing or saying? You are doing nothing but sucking the life force out of them. Selfishly, it’s pathetic and absolutely ridiculous to live that way. It’s like torturing someone for information. At some point, they are just going to tell you what you want to hear. That is no way to go through life. Believe this…. you act in a controlling manner, know that you feel unloved… and in that, you are not in sync with your true self. There is no fucking lack, dude..Chill!
Unconditional acceptance of yourself is all you need to silence the voices. You are going to fuck up, that is the nature of the beast. Learn from it, work at it and forgive yourself. Most importantly, forgive yourself. You conquer this ego, and as the Hindu’s view it, “ The ego is a serpent that, once mastered, can be worn around the neck as an adornment.” This is not to say you need to kill your ego, quite the opposite. It truly is your friend, but you, your true self needs to be in the driver seat. Got it? Good. Practice that shit. You know what it going to foce you to practice, Yoga. Meditation and self love dude. SELF LOVE. It’s time for you to get your ass to bed, you know you need the sleep. We’ll start on some more self tomorrow perhaps.