FREEEEEEEDOM!
Health is Wealth: 57/243 - Strength Circuit #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“Give with a truly glad heart, for the sole purpose of the good it will do, and whatever you give shall return to you, multiplied, as if on wings, covered in sparkles. ”
HRV Score: 52
Relative Balance: 2 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 7hr 11m
Overall morning mood: I woke up right as my alarm went off. So I felt like over slept a little bit. I didn’t sleep well, I felt like I tossed and turned and woke up to piss every hour or so. Despite my shit HRV score, I still felt like I felt pretty dang good and was ready for a strength circuit
Meditation Practice - 7:55a- 10m 58s - 5hz Theta
“Do not let people’s opinions of you mold your destiny. Let unhappy people have their unhappy thoughts. Continue on your path courageously.”
GYM: Strength Circuit
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains 4%
14m
1.13miles
EG: 154ft
Ave HR: 126
Strength Circuit 3X
Deadlifts - 4x10 @205lbs
Standing Pulls in Squat 3x12@50lbs
Incline cable press 3X12/Arm @20lbs
Lunge with Dumbbell Curl to Press 3X8/L @25lbs
Stability Ball Dumbbell press 3x12 @55lbs
Horizontal Cable Chops 3X12/s @20lbs
Up downs (planks) 3x10/side
Cable Crunches 3x15/side @25lbs
YOGA: Corepower C2
Class #31
C2 11/30
60min
Average HR: 113. Max: 174
Teacher: Jamie
NOTES: I had a great workout at the gym and dipped over to Corepower for Jamie’s C2 class. In hind sight, I should’ve eaten and gone to her C1 class at 1:30p. It was a strength circuit day, so I thought pairing that with the C2 was the best move.
Overall, the class was awesome. There were a couple of poses that I couldn’t get just due to my lack of flexibility which is awe some to me because it gives me something to aspire towards.
By the time we got to core challenge part of class I could feel my physical energy drain. From there the frustration built, and I did not recover.
I knew I should’ve taken it easy for a few different reasons: yesterday was a rest day, and I ran anyway. I got crap sleep and my HRV score was reflecting that. I had an empty stomach, why the hell didn’t I eat anything?
The great thing about Jamie is that she continually reminds us to ask ourselves what do we need. I finally started to listen to myself after the core challenge section by the time we got to pigeon. I struggled hard in the Warrior three poses, Virabhadrasana III and when we dropped to pigeon, I knew I just had to drop down into extended Child’s pose, Balasana. I had nothing left. After that, I rotated to my back and remained in Shavasana for the rest of class.
Jamie, I apologize if you sensed any negative vibes radiating from me. The frustration got to me. Thank you for a great class and I look forward to tomorrow’s C1 class
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
“The happiest people in the world constantly and consistently evaluate and improve themselves, while the most unhappy people in this world constantly focus on evaluating and judging others. ”
Internet Truth or Fiction: Pumpkin seeds, when chewed, will purge intestinal parasitic worms due to the tetracyclic triterpenses compound contained within the seeds that are released during the process of grinding them up.
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: 56/243 - REST DAY #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“If someone corrects you and you feel offended, then you have an ego problem.”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 9 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 41m
Overall morning mood: Slept great. Just still felt really stiff.
Meditation Practice: 11:33am - 12m - 5hz Theta
GYM: Short Run
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains 2%
34m 48s
4miles
EG: 214ft
Ave HR: 121
NOTES: Got home from a family Christmas and just felt like I needed to move a little bit to warm up and then stretch. Felt great. Although it was a rest day…
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: 55/243 - REST DAY #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death; and the higher the rate of interest and the more regularly it is paid, the further the date of redemption is postponed.”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 10 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 6h 58m
Overall morning mood: It was a late work night last night, so I didn’t get to bed until almost 1230a. I slept well, just not enough. Again, when I woke up I felt rested but just lacked the amount the I needed. I could tell I was a bit dehydrated from yesterday and my hips were a bit sore. My lover and I spent the first few hours of the AM wrestling in bed, was the perfect way to wake up and get going on a lazy Saturday morning. Its a full on rest weekend. :)
Meditation Practice: 10:39am - 12m 13s - 5hz Theta
“When you get tired, learn to rest...not quit.”
A T-Nation Article Below:
Do-It-Yourself Myofascial Release
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: 54/243 #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“Today don’t think or say, “I’m tired,” “I’m hurt,” “I’m angry.” Don’t even think or say, “I’m happy.”
Instead, think and say, “I’ve chosen to be tired, hurt, angry.” Or better still, “I’m choosing to be happy.”
You don’t get “hit” by feelings, you feel them based on your perceptions, and you perceive based on your beliefs, and you believe as you choose.”
HRV Score: 55
Relative Balance: 8 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 32m
Overall morning mood: Was woken up early to my amazing lover. Nothing better than morning fucking to start off the day! I was little tight. I could still feel a bit of soreness in my right shoulder and right elbow, but will continue to stretch and use the tennis ball on my triceps to loosen up the muscle back there along with my chest. I feel like my chest is pretty tight, I need to focus on loosening up the chest up as well. Going to be a fantastic Friday.
Meditation Practice - 7:55a- 21m 26s - 5hz Theta
“Gratitude will shift you to a higher frequency, and you will attract much better things”
GYM: Strength Circuit
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains 4%
9m 38s
1.08miles
EG: 114ft
Ave HR: 123
Strength Circuit 3X
Deadlifts - 4x12 @205lbs
Standing Pulls in Squat 3x12@50lbs
Incline cable press 3X12/Arm @20lbs
Lunge with Dumbbell Curl to Press 3X8/L @25lbs
Stability Ball Dumbbell press 3x12 @55lbs
Horizontal Cable Chops 3X12/s @20lbs
Up downs (planks) 3x10/side
Cable Crunches 3x15/side @25lbs
YOGA: Corepower C2
Class #30
C2 10/30
60min
Average HR: 113. Max: 174
Teacher: Jen
I enjoy Jen’s class focus on gratitude and sending it out. It has been the focus of my meditation practice and creates happier and happier days. I have been incredibly thankful for her and the rest of the Grand Studio’s teachers in helping me get the most out of my classes.
Today marked my 30th class and I feel like I have learned so much and I know it is only the beginning of this journey, i mean it will never end but regardless, I am excited for what is to come.
At the end of class, Jess handed out these gratitude straws with suggestions written on them. My read, Bring Treats for Your Coworkers. So I figured next class I attend, I will bring donuts from Granny’s in West St. Paul.
Class was tough, I was sweating or as like to call it purging like no other. It was a great class. I think I enjoy her music selection that absolute most of all my classes. Sweat. sweat. sweat!
Thank you Jen for an awesome class and an incredible month.
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
Health is Wealth: 53/243 - Stability Circuit #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“Living in time and space just might be the scariest, most heartbreaking, and lonely path an angel could ever choose.
Until, of course, they realize that being scared doesn’t mean they can’t make a difference, broken hearts can still love just fine, and that feeling lonely doesn’t mean they’re actually alone.
Then they’ll laugh an angel laugh, fluff their wings, and dare a new dare all over again. ”
HRV Score: 54
Relative Balance: 7 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 7hr 38m
Overall morning mood: I slept through my first alarm which is pretty abnormal and woke up right at seven in a bit of panic. Other than that felt pretty dang good.
Meditation Practice - 7:46a- 10m 07s - 5hz Theta
Stress: Stress happens when you hold tow opposing thoughts in your mind about the same subject. “I want that, but I can’t have it.” “I am sitting traffic, but I do not want to be.” “I should be doing this, but i do not want to.” This creates disharmony in the mind and gives rise to stressful emotions. You are now at odds with yourself. When an opposite thought contradicts a desire, you have to either change the thought or let go of the desire. You can;t drive down two different roads at the same time. Pick one.
GYM: Stability Circuit
Warm Up Run - Trinity Mountains 4%
20minutes
2.30 miles
Average HR: 127
EG 180ft
Stability Circuit
Reverse Band Turns - Red Band: 15/Arm 3x
Banded Side Walks - Orange Band: 15/Leg 3x
Prone Cobra w/Single Leg Lift: (10sec/Leg x3 = 60sec) 3x
Hip Extensions (Feet on Stability Ball) 15 w/10sec pause - 3x
Banded Y,T,L,W’s - Single Leg - 3x
Y - yellow band 15/leg
T - yellow Band 15/leg
L - yellow band 15/leg
W - yellow band 15/leg
Single Leg Plank - (15sec per Leg x2) - 3x
Single Leg Tri Pushdowns - 10/leg @35lbs - 3x
Bench Press w/ Red Band - 3x10 @135lbs
Pull Ups 3x12
Barbell Squats 3x5 @135lbs
YOGA: Corepower
Class #29
C1 Class 20/29
1h 16m
Average HR: 88. Max: 141.
Teacher: Ella
Notes: Adam, another teacher, had asked me how class went as I was putting my shoes on and all I could really say, is there ever a bad class? I mean this is by far the cheapest form of therapy possible.
I wasn’t planning on attending class today, as Thurs and Sat have been my rest days from Yoga, but some plans changed and I thought going to class was the best idea.
Ella, of all the teachers has the calmest presence. With that being said I was still sweating like a bitch in heat in that class. I am starting to look at sweating in these classes like purging. Perhaps the day, I make it through a class completely sweat free, Ill know I am the most balanced version of myself ever? Haha!?
In all seriousness, I really enjoy her class. I think this was my second class I have taken by her. It seems, that every class is exactly what you need it to be. For what ever reason, the ending of her class today elicited a really emotional response. I have not a clue why.
The earliest memory I have, which I don’t even know is real, is running through a prairie field, I am naked, young, maybe around seven or eight years old, so just tall enough for hands to skim across the tall grass. Mountains surrounding, and trees swaying in the far off distance. I have had this vision more times that I can count through out my life and for some reason is brought a tears to my eye. Or maybe is was just the sweat building pooling in my eye sockets.. . That is what came to mind, I could see it so clear. I have seen this vision more times that I can even remember and it’s always the same. Weird.
She left us today in Savasana, which was awesome. A teacher has not done that in a class I had taken before. I felt like I could have stayed there for a couple of hours, but opted to hop up and get back to the day after a bit.
Thank you for a great class, Ella, it was much appreaciated!
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
“The river is now. This moment. This breath between us. The space between your heartbeats. The moment before you blink. The instant a thought flashes through your mind. It is everything that is around us. Life. Energy. Flowing, endlessly flowing, carrying you from then...to now...to tomorrow. Listen: you can hear the music of it. Of the passage of time.”
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health Is Wealth: 52/243 - Cardio Day $RUN $YOGA #MTB
“The entire world will be a richer place, once you become a millionaire and run a sbu three hour marathon!
We knew this when we helped you pick your dreams. ”
HRV Score: 53
Relative Balance: 5 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 45m
Overall morning mood: I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep. For what ever reason my mind started to race for no other reason than just thinking about plans, work and schedule. I was in a good mood, felt like I got enough sleep. I thought for a second my lower back was a little tight, but once I started to move around, I felt light as a feather. Good day to have a freakin good day!
Meditation Practice: 7:39am - 15m 19s - 5hz Theta
“Be fascinated instead of frustrated.”
GYM: Cardio Day
RUN
Trinity Mountains 0%
67m 44s
7.90miles
Average HR: 127. Max 142.
This long session improved the endurance of my muscles and my aerobic fitness. It also developed my basic endurance and my body’s ability to burn fat during exorcise.
Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh
YOGA: Corepower C2
Class #28
C2 #9/28
1h 30min
Average HR: 96. Max: 160
Teacher: Nico
NOTES: Class today was tough as hell and fucking awesome. It was the first C2 class I have taken by Nico and I thoroughly enjoyed the ass kicking. There were a few things that came to mind today that I struggled with.
It was not so much a lack in flexibility today as it was muscular endurance. Some of the poses especially the first couple of flows through were deep and held for. I noticed the impingement inside of my hips. There were a couple of times I thought my hamstrings were going to cramp but I pulled out of it. Half Moon, Ardha Chandrasana, is extremely tough for me even with a block. When I add Half Moon Sugar Cane Bow Pose, Ardha Chandra Chapasana… the leg curl and reach to grab my foot is where I really noticed my hamstrings tighten and close to cramping… It was REAL close.
One pose felt extremely good, I just don’t remember the name. It was similar to a thread the needle but it was for our legs. Down-dog, knee to nose, down-dog knee to opposite elbow and then straiten leg and raise hand opposite of extended leg. Ill search for it!
Excitedly after class, I did Hurdler Pose, Eka Pada Koundinyasana. That was a big accomplishment that I was really happy with. I continue to work on hand stands and preparatory exorcises. My core needs a lot of work. I feel like my balance is returning slowly but surely.
Nico - Thank you again for another fantastic class, the work out and your help. Your feedback and constructive criticism is ALWAYS appreciated!
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: 51/243 - Strength Circuit #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“After all these years, can you believe most people still think time is real, space is cold, and matter is solid?
If there’s anything you want to change in your experience, imagine it changed. ”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 8 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 9h 13m
Overall morning mood: I always seem to wake up excited on strength days :) Tis a good day to have freakin good day!
Meditation Practice: 7:39am - 12m 33s - 174Hz
"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started." - Marcus Tullius Cicero
GYM: Strength Circuit
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains 4%
11m 12s
1.33miles
EG: 200ft
Ave HR: 132
Strength Circuit 3X
Deadlifts - 4x12 @205lbs
Standing Pulls in Squat 3x12@50lbs
Incline cable press 3X12/Arm @20lbs
Lunge with Dumbbell Curl to Press 3X8/L @25lbs
Stability Ball Dumbbell press 3x12 @50lbs
Horizontal Cable Chops 3X12/s @20lbs
Up downs (planks) 3x10/side
Cable Crunches 3x15/side @25lbs
YOGA: Corepower C2
Class #27
C2 8/27
60min
Average HR: 83. Max: 136
Teacher: Jamie
Class today was awesome. It was the same sequence of posture that we have been practicing lately during Jamie’s C2 class. I though for sure I was going to be dead after my work out at the gym but I think they paired really well.
It was interesting as today was the first time I noticed change in a few postures. I felt a I could go a little deeper and hold a little longer. I really really enjoy this sequence. It is challenging but at the perfect amount. I was a sweat mess on the mat today, I couldn’t keep it out of my eyes which was frustrating. However, I was reminded numerous times, to let it go.
Again, I love the philosophical reminders and how these things we learn in class can be taken with us and applied to our life outside of the hot rooms. What do I need? A questions I need to continually ask myself. As importantly, What can I let go? What am I holding on to? What is no longer serving me and my purpose? These are questions that I am reminded in class to ask myself. ALL. THE. TIME. Not just in class. Let the weight go….
Thank you again, Jamie, for another fantastic class!
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
The Corner of 8th & Insanity: Tarot Reading from a friend today…
To me it sounds like you’re right on track. There’s multiple energies that suggest you are en route to your life path.
I like to think of routes as occurring all at the same time. So if I want to adapt multi-dimension-ally, I must accept all routes, so for you to reach TRUE BALANCE…
You must prepare yourself for teaching by embracing the now and just BEING.
You must express gratitude in every facet of your life by remembering you are LOVE. The more you live in that vibration, the easier it is to access others of that consciousness.
You must take on a new PERSPECTIVE by embracing your inner child through imagination and align with your ABUNDANCE.
We have all stifled and controlled our inner child through societal conditioning, using meditation as an access point to allow ourselves to day dream and connect with pure innocence is the tool to heal that skill set.
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth 50/243: Stability Circuit #RUN #YOGA #MTB
“So much to be thankful for, huh?
Yet so little time. ”
HRV Score: 55
Relative Balance: 7 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 7hr 39m
Overall morning mood: I slept well but didnt get enough. I wasn’t sore or stiff waking up what soever. I just thought after the 90m run yesterday I might be feeling it a bit today but felt great.
Meditation Practice - 7:39a- 10m 18s - 5hz Theta
“At the end of your struggles, challenges, and obstacles comes the mental strength to cross many boundaries in the future. ”
GYM: Stability Circuit
Warm Up walk
14m
1m
EG 200ft
Run
15m 39s
1.82mi
Average HR: 124
Stability Circuit
Reverse Band Turns - Red Band: 15/Arm 3x
Banded Side Walks - Orange Band: 15/Leg 3x
Prone Cobra w/Single Leg Lift: (10sec/Leg x3 = 60sec) 3x
Hip Extensions (Feet on Stability Ball) 15 w/10sec pause - 3x
Banded Y,T,L,W’s - Single Leg - 3x
Y - yellow band 15/leg
T - yellow Band 15/leg
L - yellow band 15/leg
W - yellow band 15/leg
Single Leg Plank - (15sec per Leg x2) - 3x
Single Leg Tri Pushdowns - 10/leg @35lbs - 3x
Dips 3x15
Pull Ups 3x12
The ability to continue moving when you are feeling scared, fearful or lazy is the sign of true mental strength.
YOGA: Corepower
C1 Class #19
Class 19/26
60min
Average HR: 86. Max HR: 115
Teacher: Jamie
Class was great today. It felt extremely calm. I could hear my self breathe the entire class. When the teacher speaks, I listen for something different or new that I can really identify with.
I don’t remember the pose, it was probably forward fold in rag doll, Baddha Hasta Uttanasana. She was asking what could we let go. Was I still tense in my neck, my jaw, my shoulders? I was continually asking myself what could I relax the rest of class. It seems every time I find that spot that is tense (particularly my upper back/shoulders or hamstrings), there is usually a deeper stretch if I can relax on the inhale and really let go on that out hale breath. I’ve really been working at getting my hamstrings to loosen up. I definitely feel an overall difference in how my legs feel an body feel.
Even days I think I am going to wake up feel incredibly sore or stiff, it is much more mild and my starting point is still relatively flexible compared to how tight I have been in the past.
Before class I asked Jamie a couple of things about the heel position in Crescent Lunge, Ashta Chandrasana. I was wondering if you needed to be up on the ball mount of your foot or driving the hell towards the ground. I think what it really came down to was lengthening my stance and really pushing that rear knee away from the ground.
Fantastic class as always, Jamie. Thanks you-
Infinite Love & Gratitude!
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth 49/243: Cardio Day #RUN #YOGA
“Remember, it doesn’t matter how deep into a posture you go – what does matter is who you are when you get there”
HRV Score: 58
Relative Balance: 7:08a 10 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 45m
Overall Morning Mood: Slept great. Got a good amount of sleep and stoked to run today!
“It’s very hard at the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually, you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.”
GYM: Cardio Day
Walking Warm up
Grand staircase 6%
1mi
16mi
EG: 366ft
Average HR: 112
RUN
Trinity Mountains 0%
90minutes
10.54mi
Average HR: 132. Max 147
Either you run the day or the day runs you.
Corner of 8th & Insanity: Easy weekend. Nothing of note.
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: REST DAY - 48/243 #RUN #YOGA
“It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems. ”
HRV Score: 58
Relative Balance: 10 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 9h 21m
Overall morning mood: Sleep was needed. Slept in, opted to take a full on rest day, no Yoga class either. Went out to breakfast, and lounged all day before work. Back at it, with a long cardio day tomorrow.
That’s exactly how it is in yoga. The places where you have the most resistance are actually the places that are going to be the areas of the greatest liberation.
REST DAY!
“We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don’t allow our bodies to heal, and we don’t allow our minds and hearts to heal. ”
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Cardio - 47/243 #RUN #YOGA
“Two of the most important questions for all aspiring rock stars are:
How big do you want to be?
What are you now doing about it?
”Rock stars” being metaphoric for “I will soon run a marathon in 3 hours.” I just didn’t want to immediately flip you out. ”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 9 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 40m
Overall morning mood: I slept really well.
Meditation Practice - 2:53p- 8m 02s - 5hz Theta
Have a tough time keep my brain quiet today. I would say half my brain was racing due to work. Although resolution did come so there was en eventual relief in that.
“Yoga is a light, which once lit will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter your flame.”
GYM: Cardio Day
Walk - Grand Staircase warm up - 6%
16mi
1.1mi
EG: 325ft
Ave HR: 108
RUN
Trinity Mountains - 00%
6.97mi
59m 48s
Average HR: 130
YOGA: CorePower C2
“Change only happens in the present moment. The past is already done. The future is just energy and intention.” ― Kino MacGregor
Class #25
C2 7/25
1h 13m
Ave HR: 98. Max:141
Teacher: Amy Ka
Notes: Jess and I attended the class together. It was her first C2 class at Corepower. After the long run this morning, it felt incredibly good to sweat it out in a hot room for an hour.
The room was dark and there were candles lighting up the room. It was a pretty rad atmosphere. It was a 730p class and the last class of the day.
I thoroughly enjoyed Amy’s class and the sequence of postures she put us through. They were so hard, but also felt really good. I enjoy the one breath to one movement, but i also really enjoy holding poses for several breath cycles too. Wow, it was awesome.
I dont really know what to even talk about. There were so many new things for me in this class. Several poses that were completely new to me. The reverse twisted warrior, Parivrtta Viparita Virabhadrasana, was so hard and did a number on my inner quads but damn at the same time it was awesome. I’d hold that all day over the twister prayer.
I enjoyed hearing Amys ebb and flow throughout class. There was no music tonight, but there was a girl playing instruments in the back. Not sure if I felt it or not. Ill have to give it some more thought.
Amy did say something that really stuck in my head though, and that is she had said, “Press into your edge and then hold it there. Longer than you normally would, just hold it at the furthest most edge of yours.” This whole idea of being okay with discomfort and breathing through it. That is mental toughness and I need some more of that shit. Especially if I am going to try and murder this marathon again :)
Amy, thank you for an awesome class as always. Infinite Love & Gratitude!
“I had discovered something; there was a pleasure in becoming something new. You could will yourself into a fresh shape. Now all I had to do was figure out how to do it out there, in my life.”
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Stability Circuit - 46/243 #RUN #YOGA
“Ever wonder when looking back at your life, why it’s easier to remember the good than the bad, the pleasant than the unpleasant, the laughs than the cries?
It’s simply because there’s always a lot more of the former. ... In every life. ”
HRV Score: 61
Relative Balance: 8 (parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 32m7h 21m
Overall morning mood: Woke up feeling okay. I woke up an hour and half before my alarm and didnt go back to sleep. I felt like I slept pretty good. I have been listening to different and sounds and frequencies while I sleep. Last, I listened to generic forest sounds, a couple of howls and crickets.
Meditation Practice - 7:44a - 10m 45s - 5hz Theta
“Wherever you are is the perfect place to awaken. This moment is the exact place to practice compassion and loving awareness. You have all the ingredients to breathe and find freedom just where you are.”
GYM: Stability Circuit
Run - Warm Up
19m 51s
2.27mi
Average HR: 125. Max: 141.
EG: 147ft
Stability Circuit
Reverse Band Turns - Red Band: 15/Arm 3x
Banded Side Walks - Black Band: 15/Leg 3x
Prone Cobra w/Single Leg Lift: (10sec/Leg x3 = 60sec) 3x
Hip Extensions (Feet on Stability Ball) 15 w/10sec pause - 3x
Banded Y,T,L,W’s - Single Leg - 3x
Y - yellow band 15/leg
T - Red Band 15/leg
L - yellow band 15/leg
W - yellow band 15/leg
Single Leg Plank - (15sec per Leg x2) - 3x
Single Leg Tri Pushdowns - 10/leg @35lbs - 3x
Push ups 3x15
Pull Ups 3x12
Russian Curl 3x4
The Corner of 8th & Insanity:
People turn sullen over a trivial emotional matter and then attack the person later with an unrelated but logical-sounding excuse.
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Cardio Day 45/243 #RUN #YOGA
“Think of the one area of life that brings you the most discomfort and know that’s where you’re ripe for growth. Never fails -”
HRV Score: 53
Relative Balance: 6 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 32m
Overall morning mood: I woke up feeling pretty tight, but rested. Not sore at all.
I was excited for week 7 to start on this program. Today was a strength circuit and was looking forward to change.
Meditation Practice: 7:44am - 11m 20s - 5hz Theat
So far, this was my favorite tune to practice meditating to. Amazing.
“Unchecked assumptions eventually become delusions. Every action influenced by a delusion hurts us to some extent; it pushes us further away from the true nature of things.”
GYM: Cardio Day
RUN
Trinity Mountains - 2%
55min
6.50miles
EG: 350ft
Average HR: 133
NOTES: Found it abnormally easy to keep my HR down today. I tried that shilajit again, no preworkout. I didn’t see my heart rate start to rise above 130 until 35-40min into my run and even then it never spiked above 140. It felt great. Legs and lungs…Also! I almost forgot… I didnt listen to music today. I listen to that theta frequency I practiced mediating to. It was awesome.
YOGA: Corepower C1
60min
Class #24
C1 Class 18/24
Average HR: 103. Max: 137
Teacher: Nico
Notes: Great class today. It was small. I think I was one of three or four other people. I really enjoy these small classes. Nico helped me a lot today. He helped with my seated forward fold and he also helped me in extended triangle, Trikonasana. I have to consciously think about bending my knees in forward folding postures so that I hinge at my hips. He also helped me with a couple of hand stand suggestions. Working on L-jumps and planting my hands slightly closer to the wall. I believe his main point was to not focus on practicing entirely against the wall or you may start to use the wall as a crutch. Which, I whole heatedly agree with. Class was great today. Put on a sweat and left feeling amazing.
Thank again Nico, Infinite Love & Gratitude!
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Strength Day 44/243 #RUN #YOGA
“When was the last time you pleasantly surprised or even shocked someone, and remained anonymous?
Well, it just may be the most fun one can have in time and space. ”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 8 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 9h 44m
Overall morning mood: I feel like the more sleep I get the better I feel. Sounds dumb to say that. Like Duh… Of course you do stupid. Ha! Not sure why fight sleep the way we do. Although, I do think my sweet spot is between 8.5 and 9 hours of sleep.
I was excited for week 7 to start on this program. Today was a strength circuit and was looking forward to change.
Meditation Practice: 8:11am - 12m 15s - 174Hz
“Let her sleep, for when she wakes, She will move mountains”
GYM: Strength Circuit
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains 2%
20min
2.28miles
EG: 144ft
Ave HR: 132
Strength Circuit 3X
Deadlifts - 3x20 @205lbs
Standing Pulls in Squat 12@35lbs 12@35lbs 12@50bls
Incline cable press 3X12/Arm @20lbs
Lunge with Dumbbell Curl to Press 3X8/L @25lbs
Stability Ball Dumbbell press 3x12 @45lbs
Horizontal Cable Chops 3X12/s @20lbs
Up downs (planks) 3x10/side
Cable Crunches 3x15/side @25lbs
Cool Down Run
10m
1.18mile
EG: 000ft
Average HR: 139
Yoga: Core Power C1 & C2
12p C2 Class
Class #22
C2 6/22
1h 18m
Ave HR: 104 Max: 148
Teacher: Jamie
130p C1 Class
Class #23
C1 17/23
1h 22m 44s
Ave HR: 110. Max: 143
Teacher: Ellen
Notes: Overall notes from the gym and yoga…
Awesome workout at the gym. I know I can push the weight and probably the reps on everything. It felt awesome. I took video of my dead lifts. I was going slow and from I could tell, I was really happy with my form. I don’t anticipate any sort of soreness other than from lifting weight for the first time in about 9-10 weeks.
I felt strong. I wanted to get to yoga so i thought I would get to the C2 class at noon. I am glad that I did. I once again thoroughly enjoyed her class of ass kicking. I was definitely warm, which was nice. I wish I had the time to journal quick after class before heading to work so I would remember more.
I was pouring sweat. It felt so good. I know one question I mean to ask was; when do I know when my rear foot should be up on the ball mount or driving backwards through my heel.
Not that Jamie didn’t kick my ass enough, I decide to stay for the C1 class at 130 as well. I enjoy Ellen’s class as well very much. The C1 was a nice addition to the C2 class as I was able to slow it down and really focus on breathing correctly. I am still so green to the C2 classes that I feel kind of all over the place.
I really wanted to push it today to see how my body would handle it and how sore, if at all, I would be tomorrow. Tomorrow is an easy cardio day.
Thanks much Jamie and Ellen for great classes today, Infinite Love & Gratitude!
What a killer day!!
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Day 43/243 - Stability Circuit #RUN #YOGA
“To what extremes would you go to bring about your heart’s fondest wishes, to manifest your greatest desires, and to live your boldest dreams?
OMG - Did you just say visualize daily and take baby steps?!”
December Mindset: The month that represents a closing and a new start. The month that wants you finish strong and let go of what is no longer needed. When December is over, leave the negative thoughts and the bad energy behind. You have a fresh start ahead of you, so gear up to give it your best and use your energy wisely!
HRV Score: 61
Relative Balance: 7 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 13m
Overall morning mood: I woke up feeling 10x better than yesterday. Didn’t feel tight or stiff at all. Read for week 7 of my program to start!
Meditation Practice: 7:44am - 11m 24s - 174Hz
“Never judge someone’s character based on the words of another. Instead, study the motives behind the words of the person casting the bad judgment”
GYM: Stability Circuit 3x
Warm Up Run
Trinity Mountains - 2%
20minutes
2.24miles
EG: 268ft
Average HR: 124
Reverse Band Turns - Red Band: 15/Arm 3x
Banded Side Walks - Black Band: 15/Leg 3x
Prone Cobra w/Single Leg Lift: (10sec/Leg x3 = 60sec) 3x
Hip Extensions (Feet on Stability Ball) 15 w/10sec pause - 3x
Banded Y,T,L,W’s - Single Leg - 3x
Y - yellow band 15/leg
T - Red Band 15/leg
L - yellow band 15/leg
W - yellow band 15/leg
Single Leg Plank - (15sec per Leg x2) - 3x
Single Leg Tri Pushdowns - 10/leg @35lbs - 3x
Push ups 3x15
Pull Ups 3x12
NOTES: Awesome work out today. Everything felt good. I think I could substitute dumbbells eventually during my YTLW’s although that was a lot of reps for the shoulders.
YOGA: Core Power C1
Class #21
C1 16/21
60 minutes
Average HR: 100 Max: 142.
Teacher: Jamie
NOTES: Class today was taught by Jamie. I have thoroughly enjoyed every one of her classes so far. I mean, I’m fairly certain there will not be a class I won’t enjoy!
Similarly to previous classes, I enjoy how much she speaks. She is like therapist, doctor and yogi combo platter. Clearly, she doesn’t charge enough for her classes! haha I just feel the connection between what you accomplish on the mat and how that correlates to outside the hot room. It’s all connected and it all translates. It is easier to remember things said in class when you start to connect dots and it makes the classes more meaningful, in my opinion.
Every class I seem to take a little bit more with me. Its great. Really great.
“Decide that wherever you are, is the best place there is. Once you start comparing, there's no end to it.” - Sodo Yokoyama
We spoke a bit before and after class. She had suggested moving my hands closer while trying to work on nailing a handstand. I tried again after class, and what a crazy difference it made. Not quite there yet, but I will get it!
I didn’t attend any classes at all this weekend. Saturday was hard strength workout and Sunday was a full on rest day which was needed. I practiced a lot on Saturday at home and was extremely sore Sunday. Rest was needed and I respected that. I have had a pretty clear and open head arriving for Monday classes, today was no different. It is easier
I didn’t realize that she was one of our teachers for teacher training, but she is which is awesome since I enjoy her classes so much! I am excited for that to start!
Thanks again Jamie for a great class today, Infinite Love & Gratitude!
Internet Fact or Fiction: Foods that cause Inflammation - Meat, dairy, fried foods, alcohol, bacon and sugar. Foods that reduce inflammation are raw fruits and vegetables.
The Corner of 8th & Insanity: If you want her to support your quest for freedom, you must honor and support her in her love of loving. There is a large difference between the masculine and feminine sexual essence, learn the differences between the two and you will be better off. Not only learn, but embrace it.
Alignment. Think about your alignment with yourself and your highest purpose. It is difficult to feel at ease when your life mission or purpose is off kilter. That is just the way of the masculine sexual essence. At times, I know you have thought it was stress or some other menial distraction that doesn’t allow you to remain present. The truth is your alignment is off, which is no secret, you know this... You know where you are at, you don’t know what is next, and you are having a difficult time releasing that. When you align your life with your highest purpose, I promise you, becoming more loving, present and humorous will come with ease and just flow. Just my two cents for the day…Catch you lata Senor!
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Week 7 Schedule #RUN #YOGA
“I was looking for someone to inspire me, motivate me, support me, keep me focused… Someone who would love me, cherish me, make me happy, and I realized all along that I was looking for myself”
MONDAY: STABILITY CIRCUIT
YOGA: COREPOWER C2
TUESDAY: STRENGTH CIRCUIT
YOGA: COREPOWER C2
WEDNESDAY: CARDIO DAY (RUN 60MIN)
PT & CHIROPRACTIC WORK
YOGA: COREPOWER C1
THURSDAY: STABILITY CIRCUIT + CARDIO - (30MIN AEROBIC RUN)
YOGA: COREPOWER C2
FRIDAY: CARDIO DAY (RUN 75MIN)
SATURDAY: REST DAY
SUNDAY: CARDIO DAY (RUN 60MIN
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Day 42/243 - REST DAY #YOGA #RUN
“It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems. ”
HRV Score: 60
Relative Balance: 9 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 46m
Overall morning mood: Woke up feeling like a rest day was needed. Body is super tight and extremely sore from all the hand stand practice yesterday.
Meditation Practice: 9:42am - 12 minutes - 528Hz
“I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust The Universe, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust The Universe, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.”
HOME:
Strech
Yoga Practice
Psoas Trauma Release
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Day 41/243 - Strength Circuit #RUN #YOGA
“A warrior of light is never in a hurry. Time works in his favour; he learns to master his impatience and avoids acting without thinking”
HRV Score: 52
Relative Balance: 9 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8hr 4m
Overall morning mood: Slept great. Ready for a hard strength circuit day and the realx the rest of today and rest day tomorrow.
Meditation Practice: 11:42am - 13 minutes - 528Hz
“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.”
GYM: Strength Circuit
Warm Up Walk
Grand Staircase - 6%
11minutes
.55mi
EG 165ft
Run
Triniity Mountains - 0%
20minutes
2.25miles
Average HR: 129
Strength Circuit
Romanian Dead lifts (3x12 2-50lb dumb bells)
Diagonal Cable Wood Chops (3x 12/Side @ 20lbs)
Squat w/Dumbbell press (3x15 @ 50lb Kettle-bell)
Single Arm Cable Push (3x 12/arm @20 lbs)
Kettle Bell Lateral Lunges (3x 12/side @45lb Kettle-bell)
Bent-over Dumbbell Flies (3x15 @12lbs)
External Cable Rotations ( 3x15 @Orange Band)
Cable wood Chop - Static holds (3xSide (30 sec Hold @ 15lbs)
Pull Ups 3x12
Bench Press 3x10 @135lbs + Red Bands
Dips 3 x Til Failure
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage”
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Day 40/243 - Cardio Day #RUN #YOGA
“The great perfection, lies in the fact that no matter what happens next, you’ll be richer for it. ”
HRV Score: 57
Relative Balance: 9 (Parasympathetic)
Sleep: 8h 14m
Overall morning mood: Woke up rested but extremely tight. I was excited to run, especially considering I couldn’t keep my hear rate down yesterday! I gave Shilajit a try again today, much smaller amount and no pre-workout before the gym. AMAZING!
Meditation Practice: 7:39am - 12m42s - 174hz & 285hz
Friday Affirmations for meditation:
Thank you for this new day.
I am grateful for another chance to live my life.
I invite gratitude into my heart.
Today, and every day moving forward I will have the attitude of gratitude.
I choose to be patient. I choose to trust the process. Everything I have visualized, intended, prayed and worked on is in the process of manifesting. I will remain centered and at peace. I will be strong and continue to believe. It’s all about to happen for me.
A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being.
GYM: Cardio Day
Walking Warm up - 6%
.75miles
11:11m
Average HR: 104
Run - Trinity Mountains 2%
60 minutes
6.87miles
EG: 300ft
Average HR: 135 - Consistently stayed between 130 & 145
NOTES: I reminded myself not to drink a preworkout before heading to the gym today and my run went fantastic. I was easily keeping my HR under 130 before stepping up speeds about thirty minutes into the run.
I felt crazy tight in my inner quads and groin. Most likely from the amount of stretching yesterday. I rolled out my hips, quads, IT bands, and hams intermittently during my warm up walk and then again at the thirty minute mark of my run. It helped and I felt pretty damn warm and loose by the time my hour on the treadmill was up.
I need remind myself that I don’t ever need a prerworkout really. If anything, on heavy strength or intense stability days. I am usually so amped to run or ride by the time my cardio days come around anyway, the juice is already raging through my veins.
“Gratitude based on a faith that everything that happens or doesn’t happen in your life is for your own best interests. That we live in a purposeful universe. Life is always for you; it is never against you. It is a fact that blessings sometimes come wrapped in fear, pain, and tears. In choosing to practice unconditional gratitude you are choosing to trust the process, to honor your feelings and to place your faith in an outcome of inevitable grace.” ~ William Holden
YOGA: Corepower C2
Class #20
C2 5/20
60 minutes
Average HR: 109
Teacher: Jen
NOTES: C2 classes are tough but so enjoyable. I feel like I sweat out every negative emotion and toxin in my body. The 60 minutes just isn’t enough sometimes. Well, I say that after the core fire section of the class. Holy shit, my abdominals were on fire today. Although I had a thought, during class today. Something I watched on Gaia and read in TITOY, that is attachment. Attachment to my physical body. I think if I can begin to detach from that attachment I can breathe and push past any amount of physical pain. Maybe, maybe not? I will find out.
Jen is an awesome teacher, the best. She is like the HBIC mother bear whirring encouraging, confident and charismatic words of wisdom all class. Her voice ebs and flows with the intensity of the music and it helps a lot! The confidence she radiates is crazy infectious. Focusing on breathing and remaining mentally engaged (listening to the teacher) helps negate the pain or muscle burn in certain postures.
I enjoy the C2 classes because I don’t know what is coming next. It is one of my favorite aspects of these classes. I don’t want to know and it helps to remain mentally focused.
I could tell my muscle was starting to fatigue. Especially in the one-legged pigeon, Eka Pada Rajakapotasana. I felt my right ham start to cramp but caught it soon enough that it didn’t fully tighten up. THANK THE HEAVENS. Both hams were tight and felt it in both, but mostly in my right.
My breathing seems to be great in some classes and not so much in others. I need to really focus on it because I know how important it is. I’d rather not pass out in class from holding my breath.
Ujjayi Breathing
The breath of VICTORY!
Pranayama
Prana means life force or breath sustaining the body; Ayama translates as "to extend or draw out." Together two mean breath extension or control.
Class today was great, Jen’s focus was inspiring gratitude. Thank you for an amazing class once again. Infinite Love & Gratitude!
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” —Albert Einstein
Notes & Quotes: The Inner Tradition of Yoga Pgs. 27-33 - Marga
Yoga as a path is the way out of our present conditioning and the way toward freedom from habitually ensnaring conditions.
Freedom is always “freedom from”
Enlightenment is a movement in which we free ourselves from what obstructs and entraps us.
The Sanskrit term for “path” is marga.
It is important to find the path that is appropriate to the practitioner in the present.
“Resistance follows every step of the way” - Freud
Our whole life gets rolled into practice
Yoga is the practice of finding within ourselves freedom from the sense of being caught in the impermanent and limited situations.
Freedom is living in such a way that we are not hemmed in or entangled in the situations we encounter.
We learn to preserve an inner psychological stillness of non-reactivity and ethical action, which is equivalent to freedom.
Symptoms of conditioning are not only reflections of a world out of balance but are the means by which we see the world.
Enlightenment (Moska) is here and now.
The point of this process is recognizing the self out of balance in a world out of balance, and that we practice to harmonize both…
The path of yoga offers a freedom from the struggle of trying to create permanence in an ever changing existence.
Yoga practice deals with the common hypnotic state of suffering and a conditioned existence in which we find ourselves spinning.
LIVE FEARLESS. NOT RECKLESS.
Health is Wealth: Day 39/243 - Stability Circuit #RUN #YOGA
“Of course, the human anatomy has countless built-in performance enhancement mechanisms: You sweat when you’re hot, you smile when vulnerable, and you know when you’re being watched.
But, I bet you didn’t know you have the instinctual ability to instantly acclimate to miraculous life changes, avalanches of abundance, amazing new friendships, and your “star” suddenly blasting off.
This is by design. It’s in your genes. Perfectly natural.
Just didn’t want you to be caught off guard by your own adaptability. You’d look remarkably out of place with your mouth agog while on some red carpet, tanning in St. Tropez, or driving along the coast in your hot new solar powered convertible. ”
HRV Score: 54
Relative Balance: 9 (sympathetic)
Sleep: 6h 28min
Overall morning mood: I woke up tired. I worked late last night and didn’t get to bed until a little after midnight. Tired and sluggish, definitely was feeling the lack of sleep. I wanted to get out of bed, I wanted to run, at the same time, I wanted to go back to sleep.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
GYM: Stability Circuit
Walking Warm Up - Grand staircase 6%
.77miles
12min
EG 350ft
Average HR: 112
Stability Circuit
Standard Pull Ups - 3 x 10
Dumb-bell Squats (Dumb bell held under chin) - 3 x 15 @50lbs
Standing Cable Pulls - 3 x 20 @25lbs
Standard Push ups - 3 x 20
Hip Extensions on Stability Ball - 3 x 20 W/5sec pause
Dumb bell Chek Press - 3 x 15 @12lbs
Stability Ball Seated Cable Rotations - 3 x 12/side @ 15lbs
Russian Leg Curls - 3 x 4
Dips 3 x 12 or til failure.
Walk - Trinity Mountains 6%
2 miles
30 minutes
Average HR 128, Max 146
EG: 450 feet
NOTES: My heart rate was completely fucked today. A few reasons. For one, I didn’t eat enough yesterday. And had nothing in my stomach other than an apple on my way to the gym. I decided to give Shilajit a try today. HOWEVER, without thinking I also drank a pre-workout on the way to the gym as well. I do not think or believe they should’ve been mixed. I could’ve also mixed too much shilajit in my water. The correct dosage is half the size of a grain of rice. I was frustrated, and tried to run but my heart rate kept pushing into the mid 140s, so I had to slow it down and walk. I just switched the walk to rolling hills and was able to keep my heart rate under 130.
Shilajit Wikipedia HERE.
YOGA: Corepower C1
Class number 19
C1 - 15/19
60 minutes
Teacher: Ellen Ed
Notes: Ellen is great. She is all smiles all the time it seems. I had to look back at my journal entry from my first class with her and I thought the same thing then too! haha The positive energy radiates, you can feel it throughout class.
Similarly, to class yesterday there wasn’t too much philosophical talk, much more focus on breath, movement and posture. I am wondering if that is because it is a C1 class. I will have to infer tomorrow.
It was initially tough to let my mind go today, as I was frustrated with how my run went at the gym and the inability to keep my heart rate down, however tomorrow is a full on cardio day so I just reminded myself of that and eventually I felt the frustration drift off…Probably around the time, Ellen started murdering my stomach with the Yoga Bicycle Kicks. I notice more in my peripheral vision when I come into class distracted. Either way, I was happy to let it go.
I appreciate the reminders given throughout class to check in with our intention and our breath. It helps us newbs out, or me at least.
I had an enjoyable talk about meditation after, and certainly lookin forward to my next class! Thanks Ellen, Infinite Love & Gratitude!
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Notes & Quotes: The Inner Tradition of Yoga Pgs. 19-26 - Embracing Suffering
How does one work with the inherent suffering of being human?
Atha = present moment
In Yoga sastra it is said that god dwells in our heart in the form of light, but this light is covered by six poisons: kama, krodha, moha, lobha, matsara, and mada. These are desire, anger, delusion, greed, envy and sloth.
Counter perception: defines the path of yoga as an embrace of one’s suffering. In doing this he uses the complete acceptance as a starting point for practice.
The cure of the symptom begins with love
The impersonal force of love that heals by extending itself to the most interrupted, broken, and ruined parts of ourselves.
We are often attracted to yoga because we are struggling with pain.
Some level of dissatisfaction brings us to yoga, whether we are conscious of it or not.
Life is characterized by dissatisfaction and pervasive lack. We live in impermanent bodies, our relationships change over time, and we will all be separated form people and from places that we love. There’s a tragic dimension that runs through life. Practice in opening to that tragic dimension of life until we can feel the pain of reality, the pain of others, and the pain of the world, without adding pain to pain. Maybe the worst suffering is when we dont know how to be with suffering.
What do we seek to be free of?
If we seek any kind of transcendence, we are already looking for something we do not yet know.
What do we learn about our character when up against the truth of change, the truth of death, the truth of suffering?
“All of human unhappiness is due to the inability to sit still in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal
Duhkha = suffering
Samsara = The wheel or cycle of repeated suffering
Samsara is a metaphor for meaninglessness
Each moment of experience, whether in stillness or in reactivity, sets up the pattern for the next consecutive moment, and our abilility to skillfully meet every moment with open and undivided attention is possible to astonishing degrees. Every moment conditions the next.
Yoga practice is about breaking free of the cyclic force of habitual activity and distorted mental and emotional forces that drives to act in ways that maintain suffering
Favorite sentence read so far…
All conditioned patterns (samsara) exist in the mind and body as vasanas (memories, subtle impressions of the past, conditioning)
the aim of practice is to bring duhkha to an end by facing samsara in order to uproot the egoist tendencies of the mind. Our psychological and physical patterns, as ingrained and self-perpetuating matrices, keep us bound to the wheel of samsara, to the turning wheel of conditioned existence.
If we are to grow, change, wake up, or heal in any way and to any degree, such transformation is only possible through embracing with awareness this every moment, eve if it is a moment of discomfort, pain, or discontent.
The Corner of 8th & Insanity 8/13/18
The mirror. When you look in it, what do you see? Do you like what you see? You know, I wish I knew who you were. Although, maybe the fact that I do not, makes it easier to spew out what Im thinking. I saw a hypnotherapist today. I thought.. i hoped you'd show up when my world went dark. It was an awesome experience. Im ready for change. Im sick and tired of feeling this way. I can't stand it anymore. I really think this helped a lot.
As my eyes were closed, she was speaking. Im pretty sure I heard everything she said. I kept looking for you and all i saw was this light trying to shine around these black and grey rolling clouds. Id lose focus, or something would redirect my eyes. Each time the light was brighter and seemed to just curl around but the clouds would eventually take over and it kept repeating. Towards the end, or what I thought was the end...a bright light eventually made me squint. Like really bright. I couldn't make out the shape, or anything in particular happening, but it was probably just straight up sunlight.
She told me that it appeared as my body accepted change. That it was processing, not resisting. Thinking back, I dont remember anything she said, other than asking me to pick a shape. A shape that spoke or resonated with me. A diamond popped out immediately. I dont know why. I know I love the way they sparkle in even the slightest amount of light. Anyway, an after thought was pressure. Pressure creates diamonds. If that is the case, I want, out of my life and experiences, a diamond. A life that is unique and special to me, created by me. So far above and beyond the normal. Maybe that is why I want financial wealth. It's not the stuff I want. The freedom, the ability to go anywhere, at anytime by any means desired. Above the norm.
Is that what is coming? It is. I can feel it now. Direction, yes? I know the direction, thats about all i know. I do know that meditation is a must. I have to do it. I will start with even a few minutes a day. Do you meditate? Of course you do. You have the perfect life. And it seeeeems like you have all the answers. So what next?
“A head full of fears has no place for dreams.
We spent the first 30-45 minutes talking. She listened, of course I yapped. Side note: gotta remember to A: journal and b: start thank you journal. The thank you journal, I am going to go back to every memory I have, especially the painful ones, big and small and I am going to thank whomever was involved for give me that experience. It was a chance to learn and grow. I realized, we shouldn't carry that shit with us. you know? So I am going to accept everyone's apology, if they "give" one of course, thank everyone and let it all go. The list shouldnt be too long, i mean i can barely remember a few weeks ago. haha. just kidding. I was kind of thinking I could even make some of them group letters. Like if I was writing a letter to a few people.
anyway, we talked...i talked. she wrote stuff down on the white board. It felt good just to talk unfiltered. Unguarded. She was easy to talk to. I wish I had started seeing a general therapist a long time ago. I mean A LONG ASS time ago. I was a fucking idiot growing up. I didnt want to listen to anyone. I listed to the shit I wish I wouldnt have. And didnt listen to the shit I wish I would have! what the actual fuck. Who does that? Diamond...right? Cmon.. ha!
Another side note: decision... Recreational weed...only gets smoked on adventures. Doesnt matter when or where, but I am limiting to then. Road trips, hiking, biking etc. What eva! #420 has served its purpose as of now. Creative inspiration. A different perspective. Different neural pathways opened. Thats all. It is time to put focus and effort into these new plans that are set in motion which requires the newest and best version of myself.
What you thinkin? I know what I am thinking. You already know. lolol. Yea I do feel a new wave of confident. Its a different feeling. I feel right down in my stomach, belly just glowing. Solar plexus down to my root. Whoah, I just looked up the 7 chakras. As i read the description of each, I felt them. Literally, warmed up feeling. Fucking crazy. You know, life is great. it really it. If you cant.. dont enjoy trying to figure out all this out, whats the point. It just takes some time and puzzling it out. I think for me, well again, i have no clue what the fuck im gonna do. but at least i know the general direction. so two things I gotta focus on...meditation and journaling... my blog. Your... higher purpose is..freedom. well, mine, not yours. you already are free. You are gonna help me get there. right?
today was good. I needed that. In a way I felt a lot lighter leaving. Another tid-bit. The idea behind the the thank you journal. Well, ...a gratitude journal, is that it's away to turn every negative experience into something positive and then letting it go. In away, I can say thank you for teaching me....xyz and then put it to rest. Wish I would've thought of that sooner. Ill start tomorrow with that one, for now I gotta get some sleep. Its time to start dreaming again. Peace out... I love you.
11:11